Mary Jane

He is not poor. Cut him some slack – he’s just broke. I mean,he owns three machines: An Ampex subwoofer,a Hp laptop and a Huawei smartphone which despite its shattered screen always inspiring gasps of,’Hiyo ni screen ama ni screenguard’, still works perfectly. On Friday nights ,a broke girlfriendless formless campus nigga might be found […]

Always and forever

The butterflies in his stomach flutter their wings too loudly to allow Sospeter the comfort of even a wink of sleep.That night,21st October 2016,reminds him of when he was a little boy;of nights before school trips when he went to bed fully dressed in uniform,lest morning preparations cause delay and he is left behind by […]

A brother will get zoned

Tonight at exactly 11:00 pm Eastern Africa time zone,a brother will get zoned. But before I continue, allow me to briefly explain three important terms: 1.Zone /zəʊn; NAmE  zoʊn/noun, verb noun an intangible and invisible space where a zoner puts a zonee because of reasons best known to them. It comes in many forms, the […]

A mother,a bachelor and his whisky

There are days when a phone call from your mother is the last thing you want.A phone call announcing that on that day,Sunday,she will check into your house from the village at exactly 1 pm.(Note:I said announcing.Your mother is not requesting to come to your house – that means that wherever the hell your ass […]

Read and write

My friend (thinks he) wants to be a writer His phone’s memory is spilling over with ebooks Imagine! Ebooks Not photos Not videos Not songs Not even funny memes! Just bloody ebooks! He reads these ebooks while riding in matatus And while waiting in queues And while in the loo – him reading in the […]

Some nights

Insomnia arrives at my door at 1am on the dot.Of course he doesn’t knock.He never knocks.He doesn’t break in either.He uses his duplicate key.It’s like we’re  roommates and he is just arriving  from a night out.I hear the sound of his  footsteps approaching my bedroom.Near.Nearer.That sonofabitch cannot walk without  dragging his feet.The door to my […]

Smile for the camera

Your daughter at the university has stopped shaving her head and started shaving her eyebrows She has downed her headscarfs and donned baseball caps She no longer uses pencils to write on books,she uses them to write on her face She no longer raises her hands to ask questions during lectures (because she no longer […]